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dear diary,

✎︎ 08/02/2025

this is my july summarized:

  1. i celebrated 4 years with my partner (love u derrbear ❀️)
  2. i saw my former coworkers at a birthday party... there was a dj set in the garage but it was waaay too hot for that LOL . idrk what they were thinking . arizonans make do i guess
  3. i spent a day out in town with some beloved friends . we had sammies, visited a local bookstore + record store, and celebrated national lollipop day (i marked this on my calendar sometime in late june because i saw a flyer for it in the mall.... LMFAO)
    my haul, left to right: authority by jeff vandermeer, the power of cute by simon may, the secret lives of color by kassia st. clair, still by erika de casier, 2 free lollipops from see's candies 😭 (not pictured)
  4. i struggled like hell to draw for art fight (art blocked from a depressive episode smh)

this month, i'll be going back to school; i'm starting a new chapter of my life where i'll be pursuing my second degreeβ€”a BS in social and behavioral sciences . i'm really excited but also a bit terrified... it's been 3 years since i graduated college . what if my head's full of rocks now.... but there's no point in self-doubt . i'm determined to learn and apply the knowledge that i do have to my studies !! i just have to remember self-discipline when it comes to deadlines since it'll be completely online this time around o_O


status: today is a filler episode

08/02/2025 β€’ 06:02 a.m.


✎︎ 07/01/2025

i meant to write about my may and june experiences but... as you can see... i did not 😎 heh heh . but i will now !!

before talking about the awesome parts, i'd like to make a note that my home life is kind of poop right now cuz of my parents... and since may and june are months that celebrate mothers and fathers, i'm taking a moment to say it's okay to have complex and/or negative feelings about your parents . and it's okay to say FUCK MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAYYYY !!!!!! moving on.........

this is my may summarized:

  1. my friends and i went to a 90's house night at a gay club in town . it was... crazy . cuz it really was like this tumblr post
  2. met some beautiful souls, had some drinks and street tacos, and danced the night away
  3. i got an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy πŸ˜€ it was fine... the experience itself was the best cuz my bf took care of me pre- and post-op though
  4. i forced my bf to watch naruto (which he loves now)

this is my june summarized:

  1. for a couple of nights, my best friend kaela and i kept our good friend company while she went through a crazy break up? umm....... well they sort of broke up and then got back together haha πŸ˜€ all i got to say...? the lesbian dating scene in az is a difficult one
  2. i celebrated my bf's birthday and then my own . love my friends sm !!!!
  3. i went to the casino w/ friends for the first time (came for the vibes)

status: realizing i can only bring myself to update my website when i Really feel like it.......

07/01/2025 β€’ 10:58 p.m.


✎︎ 04/24/2025

hi hi hi !!!! it's been a bit so let me write of my recent adventures (reverse chronologically)

04/12: the besties and i went to go see the naruto: the symphonic experience and it was seriously awesome . they encourage the audience to interact with the performance (ex. when an iconic scene is played, you can cheer) so of course i had to cry and clap whenever gaara was on screen........... but omfg . when kimimaro was on screen, everyone cheered (of course) but i screamed so loud that my voice filled the entire theater 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 they don't understand how serious i am about him

03/28-03/31: spent a few days in chicago to visit my brother w/ the lads

03/21: our wonderful friend maddie visited hehe . we hung out late into the night.. and of course, we went into a photo booth for some printable memories

02/06: my friend malina and i went to a lesbian bar and i tried to help her get some ladies' numbers #NightLife

we took these super cute photos and i love them sooo much but it kills me so bad cuz WHY DO WE LOOK LIKE JOHN LENNON AND YOKO ONO HELP MEEEE 😭 do you see it...? i think it's my glasses.........

my beautifully busy late winter + spring season so far ^_^ wish spring could last just a little longer . i don't miss the summer heat.....


status: back to the wee hours of the night :pensive:

04/24/2025 β€’ 05:19 a.m.


✎︎ 02/11/2025

omfg . hi guys (this is pastry btw)

it's been nearly a year since i last added anything new to this site.... because it's been so long, i figure that i should do a recap of last year since one (1) million things happened to me

this is my 2024 summarized in highlights:

  1. january - got a job at an art museum as a gallery attendant / started antipsychotics
  2. february - played a lot of stardew valley with my partner / did some wheel throwing
  3. march - got my third lobes pierced / held a charcuterie board night / went back to therapy
  4. april - started playing neopets again and got really into it
  5. may - held a tiny art show / stopped my antipsychotics
  6. june - celebrated my partner's birthday and my own (we're both gemini hehe)
  7. july - participated in art fight
  8. august - decided to grow my hair out
  9. september - went on a trip with my partner / saw the ocean
  10. october - went on another trip with my partner / met so many new (and old) friends / started zoloft
  11. november - saw ginger root with my beloveds / graduated therapy / got my rook pierced
  12. december - hung out with my brother / ended the year on a pretty good note

i'm not going to lie, it was really, really hard in the first half . just thinking about it makes me really sad . but the second half of the year was so beautiful . i spent so much time with my partner and my friends; i made really meaningful connections at my workplace; and i was able to repair my relationship with art by finding and embracing community

now we're finally caught up to 2025 !! already, so much has happened... i quit my job and decided zoloft is not the ssri for me, experienced some night life in the city, decided to go back to school, and got more piercings ↴

that's all for now . if you read all of that you're Crazyyy . crazy awesome :heart:


status: feels good to be on here again :)

02/11/2025 β€’ 10:51 p.m.


✎︎ 05/30/2023

yesterday was cool :D spent all day w my friends and older brother... larry (he is holding a lightsaber in the first image) has been going thru a star wars phase (again) and he decided to bring his lightsaber to mine and kaela's place LOL . i make fun of him for not RPing in wizard101 with a mutual friend of ours but then basically LARPING irl at our place......... but in all seriousness, it's really cool and the glow emitting from the lightsaber is super beautiful 😭

my brother has this habit of buying niche cooking paraphernelia to make certain dishes (like he literally bought a PIZZA OVEN that just sits in our backyard untouched for most of the year LOL) . with his new japanese grill, he made us yakitori that we ate on the driveway in the night breeze... eventually, we did start larping and taking photos


status: i love my friends + using the force on my brother

05/30/2023 β€’ 03:38 a.m.


love, niko